As
responsible ladies, we do our duty of an annual visit to a person who knows our
bodies perhaps better than we do ourselves. During this investigative
experience, ever notice the incredibly large selection of magazines in these
doctors’ waiting rooms? It’s very useful to help distract your mind during the
1 ½ hour interim before you get to climb up on that table and….I hate to even
think about it.
Then, you hear your name called and think, okay, it
will all be over in a few minutes. But instead, you’re asked to step on a scale
and the nurse marks down your weight with no comment and you hope she doesn’t
review the chart and notice the 20 pound weight gain since last year. You know how they
want you to strip for the exam but expect you to remain fully clothed for the
weigh in? Does anyone else see the injustice in that?
Next, you’re escorted into a wallpapered room with
what appears to be a comfortable exam table with its thick white padding until
you glance at the stirrups and remember why you’re there. You’re handed a gown
while the smiling nurse tells you to take everything off and put on the gown
with the opening in the front. This last piece of information is important
since I once reversed that direction and it made the exam a bit awkward. She
leaves the room and you think—“How can she possibly think I’m going to get
naked after she just weighed me and was witness to the terrifying results?” Maybe
that’s the alternative interpretation of the acronym OBGYN--oh boy, gosh you’re
naked. And just what is the point of the gown? It’s not like they are styled
well enough to cleverly hide my mommy belly or the cellulite that is peeking
out from behind my legs. So, what added measure of decorum is it really
offering?
While in this dilemma, I considered my options—1. Stay
clothed and tell the doctor I only need him to look over me externally, I’m
sure all of my inside parts are good as new; 2. Stay clothed and leave the room
saying I made a mistake and thought I was at the dentist’s office; 3. Get
undressed, don the gown and tie it with a fancy bow that’s impossible to undo.
I
give in and slip into the micro centimeter thick gown and wait in the cold (and
I mean cold!), sterile exam room and think, “Alright the doctor is going to see
me soon and this is almost over.” Wrong! I got to stay in this get-up and wait
another 20 minutes! And, no magazines. Well, that’s the time you need to read
about the current Hollywood starlet in the latest edition of People. On a side note, do you think she goes through this or does she hire
somebody to fill in for her?
As
I was waiting for the doctor, I tugged at my modest earring. When I was getting
ready that morning, I almost chose copper-colored medium-sized hoops which went
really well with my outfit but I thought they would be extreme with the gown. I
glanced around the room and my eyes fell on the little corner of the exam room
that has a curtain where you disrobe and don the gown. I had thrown my clothes
on the seat with my discarded bra on top. I realized the doctor would be able
to see it. How embarrassing! I leaped from the table and remedied the
situation. “Phew, that would have been embarrassing if he had seen my bra,” I
thought while waiting naked for the top to bottom exam.
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