Girl Talk--Note: Applies to Women from 20 to 90

One of the best qualities about sisters and good girlfriends is that we know how to share. I don’t mean clothes or jewelry (though many of us do) -- we know how to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and advice. You know--the absolutely craziness that makes us women.
And we must be crazy to get waxed, dyed (a good two-hour commitment in which you look like you’re in a beauty contest on Mars), and pay good money to have a stranger hold your hand and buff and polish your nails only for it to chip three days later and she doesn’t even call to apologize.

But, as ladies, we always split ourselves into five people and we’re amazed when we can’t fit it all in. So, perhaps your usual confidant (a.k.a. margarita companion) is busy being a mom, being the president of a bank or trying to lose that elusive 10 pounds in the gym and she hasn’t had time to get together with you for a chat session and you’re getting desperate enough to try to engage your guy in sharing and thereby risking your life because “the game” is on. If this describes you, then this girl talk is for you. So, let’s chat. I’ll start.

My two biggest enemies are the scale and the clock.

99.9% of the women you know are on a diet. Do you know a woman who says, “I love my body just the way it is.”? Of course you don’t because these women do not exist. If you ever do meet someone that gives you that response, she is lying, had work done, or is on anti-anxiety medicine.

Here’s the thing I don’t understand. We’re all trying to become thinner so that we get healthier and live longer, right? Okay, so then why does ½ and ½ with its high fat content have a longer life (like a month!) than skim milk (five days if you’re lucky)? Is nature trying to tell us something? The fat will prevail! Live long, dive into that chocolate ice cream in your freezer. Hey, that’s also a source of calcium. Does it get any healthier?

So, we all want to be thinner but we’re not real excited about what we have to do to get there – diet and exercise. Many of us probably intend to do those things but here’s the problem, no matter how hard we try, there will always be good food. And, good food is meant to be eaten. Sometimes we know we’re being bad and will lament about what the evil chocolate calories will do to our butt, thighs an/d or stomach. Other times, we just block out what we’re doing.

For instance, I had potato chips and dip last night for dinner. It’s okay though, I complimented it with red wine. Red wine is good for you. And, it was the weekend so that doesn’t count. On Saturday nights, I don’t get concerned about what the potato chips are doing to me. Mondays say something different. If I can actually button my pants on a Monday morning after a long weekend of eating, it’s a good day.


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